date.not.date main course

There must be lots of things to chop for the date.not.date, it helps the nerves, especially if the knife is good and there isn't enough room for the date.not.date to help. Other things that are useful to fuss over are roasting things that smell good but need to be checked frequently, and maybe something that can't be prepared until it's thawed.

Dinner must, under no circumstances, be served on early or on time. The point of chopping is to focus on the hands. It is easier to miscommunicate when one person is working and the other is relaxing.

Some might say recalcitrant foods, such as slippery roasted red peppers and tough-shelled nuts, are a little too literal for the date.not.date, but they are in fact the perfect projection surfaces for debilitating ambiguity and lingering sexual tension.

It is OK to serve onions, garlic, leeks, and shallots if your date.not.dater is not Buddhist or allergic--you should both eat them with a poker face. Give your date.not.date a couple seconds of privacy so you can both surreptitiously check your breathlessness.

Do not, under any circumstances, serve chamomile tea or fresh ripe mango. They will put you on a path to calling the bluff.